FOOTBALL

Official Chopalytics preview for Michigan State football vs. CMU

The preview you’ve all been waiting for.

Published

1 year ago

August 31, 2023

MSUMan

Since the 2023 Michigan State football season kicks off on Friday, it’s time to release my official Chopalytics preview.

We kick off a very pivotal season for Michigan State football coach Mel Tucker on Friday when the Spartans host the Central Michigan Chippewas at 7 p.m. ET. I’m sure you’ve read plenty about the times CMU has upset MSU and the boring old articles wondering ‘Can history repeat itself?’

In our first Chopalytics preview of the season, I’m here to spoil the secret and tell you that MSU is not losing this game. Understood? OK, good. Let’s get to the fun stuff.

This year, my goal is to bring a little humor to some of the matchup previews our fans read heading into each week because lord knows no one can read the Freep anymore.

Please remember that I take nothing seriously.

Three things you need to know heading into Friday

CMU dropped their Nichols
1. Superstar Chippewa running back Lew Nichols went to the draft this past year and is a weapon MSU will not have to plan for. Nichols led the nation in rushing yards in 2021. CMU even built a billboard for him. What’s funny is that he led the country in the most important statistic for his position and still wasn’t even the best running back in his own state. Shoot, he might not even have been the second-best. Is the state of Michigan RBU? People are talking.

Courtney Hawkins’ revenge game
1. MSU’s wide receivers coach Courtney Hawkins played in the first matchup between these two teams where the reigning Big Ten champs got whomped by the Chips 20-3 in 1991. ChopMan wasn’t even born by this point, therefore the matchup is irrelevant. Not only will he have the wide receiver room ready for war, but everyone keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t try to suit up and try to single-handedly win the game himself.
QBs, QBs, QBs, QBs
1. Either some of my vices are catching up to me, or this is the first game I’ve watched in a long time where we don’t know who is starting at quarterback for either team. According to my calculations, there are hundreds of potential quarterback matchups. Will it be Noah Kim or Katin Houser for MSU? Is it Jase Bauer or Bert Emmanuel for the Chippewas? Nobody knows and the mystery gets me excited. I’ll be dreaming about Tucker trotting both players out there for the first drive just to see Twitter burn.
Death by burgers
1. This isn’t CMU specific but my dumb brain overreached and vowed to eat one burger from HopCat for each rushing touchdown scored by MSU this year. Ex: Kenneth Walker III’s five touchdowns vs. Michigan in 2021 would have meant ChopMan had to down five burgers. Now I’m very superstitious so if I do not comply with my promise, I wholeheartedly believe Michigan State football will be struck with bad luck. One could say I bit off more than I could chew.