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Big Ten, NBC announce MSU-PSU to be played on moon amidst backlash

PS: This is satire.



Big Ten
© Matthew OHaren-USA TODAY Sports

Shortly after it was announced that the Michigan State vs. PSU game would be at Ford Field, the Big Ten moved it even further.

Shortly after announcing that the Black Friday game against rivals Michigan State and Penn State was to be played at Ford Field in Detroit, the Big Ten and NBC announced that the game location has been moved to the surface of the moon. NBC noted in a statement in tandem with the Big Ten that the move was “in fairness to both universities, their football programs, and their fans.”

An anonymous NBC executive was on record saying “I mean $50 million a year should be more than enough to get 150 people to the moon and back” when asked about the logistical trouble of getting the programs to the moon.

Big Ten officials in Chicago (definitely not Rosemont across the street from an airport, definitely Chicago) were not available for comment, but were seen having “confidential meetings” at Fogo de Chao next door.

Michigan State’s head coach, Mel Tucker, provided comment through MSU’s Athletics Communications Department:

“It was tough hearing that our players get one less game in The Woodshed, but I believe this presents them a good opportunity to be put in pressure situations and really uphold that relentless mentality we have here at Michigan State.”

Penn State Coach James Franklin was not able to be reached for comment, but posted the following tweet shortly after the announcement was made:

Michigan State fans are not thrilled about making the 240,000-mile trip, with some citing the oxygen-less environment is “no different than playing it at Ford Field.”

Penn State has considered shooting the bones of Old Coaly into space to signify the building of a new landscape of college football.

NASA engineers are diligently working to ensure that the Land Grant Trophy, bestowed to the winner of this game, will arrive and return safely. One was quoted saying, “Why are we shooting a cabinet into orbit.”

There are currently no discussions or determinations for the location of the game in 2024.

Michigan State and Penn State have split the series the past two seasons, with the rivalry series being 18-18-1 all time after first being played in 1914.