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Michigan State football: Building ChopMan’s perfect Spartan QB1

This quarterback is going undefeated.

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Michigan State football
© Dan Rainville / USA TODAY NETWORK

If you were to build your perfect Michigan State football QB1 based off the quarterbacks on the roster, what would he look like?

We are just a couple of days away from the Michigan State football final spring practice that will be open to the public. It starts at 2:30 p.m. ET on April 15 and will be the second year in a row that there will be no scrimmage, just live practice.

Is it concerning that Mel Tucker says the decision was made based on not having enough healthy bodies on the defensive line? I’m not qualified to answer and I’m not here to talk to you about that.

I think the general feeling surrounding the quarterback room is that there is a ton of talent. We are all just eager to see who rises to the top.

Here are the quarterbacks on the roster:

  • Payton Thorne – RS SR
  • Katin Houser – RS FR
  • Noah Kim – RS JR
  • Andrew Schorfhaar – RS JR
  • Christian Banks – RS FR

Since there is no named starter from this list, what Chop is going to do is create the most elite quarterback based on the characteristics of these players.

  1. Payton Thorne’s mullet
    1. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you read my content regularly you know I’m a huge Mullet Thorne advocate. There were photos and videos released recently that show Payton does, in fact, still have the mullet (contrary to popular belief).
  2. Katin Houser’s build
    1. Tucker from the get go has placed an emphasis on size on the recruiting trail and it is definitely time for big boy szn in Spartan Stadium. At 6-foot-3 and 215 pounds, Houser is the biggest quarterback in the room and he only recently completed his freshman year. Houser for sure put on a much-needed freshman 15, and there is still time for him to get bigger heading into the fall.
      1. P.S. Katin, there is some really good ice cream in the SnyPhi Caf that’ll make it easy to get some extra calories in.
  3. Noah Kim’s arm sleeve
    1. I honestly can’t remember if MSU has ever had a quarterback that has sported a full sleeve. And when I say sleeve, I mean tatted from the wrist to the shoulder. The swagger this would produce might intimidate opposing teams so much they may not even show up. I haven’t checked the stats but I’m pretty sure a player with a sleeve has yet to lose a football game.
  4. Christian Banks’ last name
    1. I’m not going to lie, I know next to nothing about the other two quarterbacks. But Christian has the last name that screams ‘back up the brinks truck’ for our made up QB. A last name like that adds an extra 10 percent to whatever NIL deal our quarterback gets.

Here’s your perfectly constructed 2023 QB1:

Payton Thorne, Noah Kim, Katin Houser

via various Instagrams

I hope Coach Tucker is reading this because what I have laid out for you could create the best quarterback in college football. Regardless of who gets the start this fall, we will be in safe hands knowing that the starter will have one of these characteristics and if the QB play is below expectations, you can just blame Chop. ?

See you soon,
ChopMan

Lover of pancakes, coffee and Dairy Queen. Nothing I say should be taken seriously. If you have any complaints, please reach out to my mom. SD4L.

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